2010-6-25 15:59
gqq1764
12个好玩又怕怕的鬼故事
故事1、粗心
一人夜行无处投宿,幸遇久荒茅舍,启门问:“有人否?”
内一鬼应曰:“无人!”
人点头道:“无人尚好,我可自便!”遂入内就寝。
故事2、蝙蝠
一蝙蝠死,入阴间听判。鬼判凝视蝙蝠半晌无语,忽道:“按常理应遵六道轮回,怎奈此物非禽非兽,实不好判,不如重新投胎做蝙蝠吧!”
故事3、茅厕神
几人请笔仙,中途忽闻异味,以为着道,甚恐,笔仙却慰之曰:“勿惊勿怪,我乃茅厕之神。”
故事4、有衣无衣
二人论鬼。一人说人死变鬼,衣服不能变,故鬼无衣。另一个说有。二人争到面红耳赤,决定去阴气重地寻鬼,功夫不负有心人,终于在一处潮湿废墟发现赤身鬼魂若干,无衣论者得意洋洋道:“果然如我所说!”旁经过一老者闻听哑然失笑:“此地以前是澡堂子,常有赤身鬼客来重温。”
故事5、失职
鬼判查一新鬼案底,奇道:“你阳寿未尽,怎被勾?”新鬼大冤:“牛头马面本欲勾个醉鬼,怎奈沈醉叫不起,恰我路过,拿来充数!”
故事6、鬼城管
一人烧纸,初火势尚佳,火星如散金飞雨,似群鬼顺序领钱。未几,旋风四起,风流大乱,间杂恶语怪音,人奇道:“不好好的,怎么乱抢起来?”鬼答:“阴司的城管来了!”
故事7、文牍主义
阎王发觉阳间数十年内人寿渐长,认为牛头马面勾魂不力,欲责之,牛头马面冤道:“阎王在上,往年勾魂,鬼判批个条子我们哥们就去做了。现如今阴司衙门不断扩充,要发个勾魂文牒,从拟文到签批校对印发,最后交我们手,少说也要走上十几个衙门,转个一年两年算快的,三年五年发不下来也是常事,阳间人等怎能不长寿?”
故事8、少见多怪
一人夜行,坟岗遇二飘荡野鬼,乃大呼小叫。鬼斥之曰:“嚷什么,饭后遛弯而已,少见多怪!”
故事9、色鬼
某村色鬼暴亡,葬后十日坟塌。村人深以为怪,重掘开发现,墓穴已空,尸体竟挖塌土墙,钻入相邻一少妇墓穴内与之相拥而卧。
故事10、孟婆汤
一人死,因情愫不愿忘前生,接孟婆汤未喝,过奈何桥遇鬼判检查,问:“喝了汤没?”人谎称:“喝了!”鬼判冷笑:“这倒记得清楚,回去重喝!”
故事11、犟嘴
老张死了。
老张生前特喜欢犟嘴,不管有理没理,也不论应不应该,什么话题都搀和,什么事儿都非要争个口舌的上风,且不得胜决不收兵。在单位不论大家日常评论点什么,他都要参与,都要争辩,犟嘴,人家说他抓了屎厥子给麻花都不换。这人还自鸣得意,以为争辩本事高超。这人耳朵还特灵,你隔三间屋子放个屁他都能听见,也想找来理论一番。
一天两天成,时间长了,大家都不愿意在他面前讨论事情,有时候实在躲不开,被他半路插了进来,你就看吧,一会走一个,一会没一个,最后一圈子人肯定走个精光,老张还不依不饶,非要拉个垫背的继续辩论。
不过,他还是死了,死于急症。老张家给他在公墓买了块好位置。
送葬那天,同事们都去了。大家不知怎的,心里多少都有点幸灾乐祸,脸上虽不敢表现出来,但彼此心照不宣。遗体下葬后轮到大伙鞠躬默哀,几个小青年在后面捅捅咕咕的,一面装模作样地默哀,一面悄声研究起为送葬穿的黑色外套来。
一个人说他穿的是澳洲料子,另一个死活不承认,背了大伙又扯又拽地,第三个人说顶多是内蒙的羊毛。
这是坟墓里突然传来一个声音:“切!你们都不懂行!这是新西兰的羊!”
故事12、等鬼
山上坟地闹鬼,十里八村的人都不敢打那过。
前庄有个侯大胆,特不信邪,非要在那守一晚看个究竟。有好事的吵儿八火都跟了去,可毕竟不是看一般热闹,半路就稀稀拉拉走掉不少,最后到了坟地的不过五六个。
天色完全黑了,坟地越来越阴森恐怖,剩下的人几乎跑了个精光,只剩下个外庄人的跟侯大胆一起守夜。
整个晚上毫无动静,眼瞅天色泛蓝,远远的已有鸡叫声。侯大胆伸了个懒腰抱怨道:“什么闹鬼呀!啥也没有,害得我守了一夜!”
那人应了一句:“嗯哪!我都守了一百多年了,愣是没见过鬼!”
2010-10-15 06:56
jeterhill
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